Six months later

Well, it was a little over six months ago that I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. A lot has happened! Here's an update.

This is 21 days after my second surgery. One of the risks my surgeon had mentioned was a crooked smile, and there it is. I know it doesn't look noticeable to you, but it is strange for me to see in the mirror. Try as I might, my lip just doesn't come down all the way like the other side does, to expose a full smile. People have said, "Oh, that's nothing, you look fine." And I guess those people don't understand it. I posted this on Facebook and people said nice things, like that I look pretty, and that's fine. But I really don't need the reassurance that it's nothing. I don't need you to tell me my crooked frickin face is just fine. You stand in a mirror and try to move a muscle that won't move, and tell me that's just fine. You might think you're being nice, but it comes off as invalidating the nerve damage I've experienced.

This is the incision 23 days after surgery. Looking good! Still a lot of numbness. I don't really like to wash the incision when I shower, because I can't feel the incision. I fear that I'll scratch it or hurt it and bleed or something and I won't be able to feel it.

So at the end of August, my medication was adjusted because I still had slowed metabolism and low energy. So a few days ago I was re-checked at the six-week mark. My TSH went from 14 to 0.02. The standard range according to Kaiser is 0.10 to 5.50. So here I am at the opposite end of the spectrum, actually hyperthyroid. My endocrinologist emailed me and asked if I'd had any heart palpitations or uncomfortable symptoms. She said if not, she'd like me to stay hyperthyroid for a while to see if the free t4 comes down. I don't totally understand the free t4 versus TSH, but I've come to understand that I'm not a doctor and I don't have to be one. My free t4 came in at 1.9, and 1.7 is the top of the range. So she wants to see that come down. So far I'm not experiencing many symptoms of being hyperthyroid. According to the Mayo Clinic website, here are some possible symptoms:

• Sudden weight loss, even when your appetite and diet remain normal or even increase
• Rapid heartbeat (tachycardia) — commonly more than 100 beats a minute — irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia) or pounding of your heart (palpitations)
• Increased appetite
• Nervousness, anxiety and irritability
• Tremor — usually a fine trembling in your hands and fingers
• Sweating
• Changes in menstrual patterns
• Increased sensitivity to heat
• Changes in bowel patterns, especially more frequent bowel movements
• An enlarged thyroid gland (goiter), which may appear as a swelling at the base of your neck
• Fatigue, muscle weakness
• Difficulty sleeping

I think the only symptom so far is some weight loss. If you know me, you know I have heat intolerance on a daily basis :) I'm always running a little hot. I often wake up in the morning sweating. So there's that. I certainly hope there's no tremors or rapid heartbeat in my future.

I'm doing the exercises everyday for my shoulder, and I can't really say if I feel a difference. It's still very sore when I wake up, and it's still weak. We'll have to see. My original return-to-work date was to be tomorrow, but that's not going to happen. It's been hard being off work so much. I mean sure, I don't miss the stress and the actual part where I have to work. But I like the company I work for and I'd love to stay there and move up over time. I want to invest time there.

Dr. Chan said my thyroglobulin will be checked in December, and I'll know then whether I need to have more RAI. I'm bummed because if I do have to have it in January, that would conflict with starting the spring semester of school, which is late January. I register for classes next month, so I'll have to do so without knowing yet what the future holds.