Lateral neck dissection surgery
The week leading up to surgery is usually a mixed bag. I have a great excuse to indulge and eat delicious food because I know soon I won't be able to. But I also try to make sure my house is in order and everything. It's scary wondering, "What condition will I be in when I come home?"
So this is 16 weeks post-op, right before the second surgery.
This time we had to be at the hospital at 5AM. My boyfriend grumbled about it, but I was glad to get it over with. So we went in, I pee in a cup, put on the gown and wait. Dr. Doctor came to talk to me about the surgery, which is standard operating procedure. He casually mentioned he may have to re-incise the original scar on my neck in order to accomplish what he needed to in there. I'm thinking, "What?!" But whatever. I finally fell asleep.
And then I woke up! I was in a lot of pain and like my first surgery, all I remember was asking for pain medication. And I honestly don't even remember that. Hard to explain. Eventually my mom and Johnny came to see me. I was so numb, it was ridiculous. They had taken my gauge out of my ear during surgery because it was in the way. So the incision really was all up in there.
Unfortunately, there was a lot of drama and tears and just bummer 3000 after that. A nurse told me I wouldn't be getting a private room because there weren't any available. She said I'd have to be put on the ward until something opened up. Johnny was sitting with me at the time, in recovery. She told him he'd better learn the visiting hours of the ward. Ooooooh he didn't like that. I was flabbergasted that I wasn't getting a room. Last time I was on the oncology ward, and now I can't get a room anywhere? My mom was very upset of course and she made attempts to speak to the right people to correct this. I don't really know, I was pretty out of it. There was a lot of back and forth, and then eventually a lot of people came to apologize to me. We all got the impression that the nurse who told me that was wrong and maybe didn't go about it how she should. I just cried a lot and was under a lot of stress. I had just come out of this big surgery and I should have been resting and sleeping in my room, but instead there was chaos. It was such a bummer. I had to wait over three hours before a room was available. During that time, a nurse who had recently had thyroid cancer came to talk to me. She was really nice and all, but like really whose idea was that? Who thought, "That terribly sad cancer patient who can't get a room looks pretty stressed out. Let's have someone force a 20 minute conversation with her." During that time, I had to have IV pain medication hourly.
I finally got to my room, and of course I had to pee right away. I'd had a lot of ice chips while in recovery. Me having to get up and get to a toilet shortly after surgery is a good measure for me to be able to tell where I'm at. I stand on my own two feet and see where the pain is, and where I'm limited in movement. My Grandma was in the room when we got there, and she was amazed that I got myself up and could stand so soon after surgery.
After that mess of a situation, things were pretty calm. I was stunned when I learned the pain medication I was received intravenously was Delaudid. Literally when I heard the word, I thought of Michael Jackson and his death as a result of using drugs like Delaudid and Demerol. I could feel a lot of soreness all over my left side, but the medication softened it. The left side of my head was numb, as was my ear and my shoulder. My ear was probably the most severely numb. I just felt nothing. Very bizarre. Oh, and the surgeon did re-incise the old scar. I had one big, J-shaped incision now.
I don't look very happy because I wasn't. I don't put a lot of energy into being upset about my situation, but I wasn't enjoying myself.
I ate this cantaloupe the last day I was in the hospital and I swear it was like a psychic change came over me. It was so sweet and juicy and wholesome, and it made me hungry to get back out in the world and experience things. This cantaloupe was like gold at the time. I had been so hungry, and I was mostly eating Jello.
I was in the hospital Friday-Monday. I had a drain in that was removed on Monday. Part of going home meant that I had to transition from IV pain medication to pills, and that was a tough transition. I felt a lot of pain that I just had to sit with for a while. When I was sitting up, I wasn't able to hold my head up straight; it was definitely leaning over to the left. If I tried to straighten it at all, it pulled on the incision. Being in the hospital was boring, but I had some visitors. My dad and stepmom came to visit on Saturday. They weren't there at the time of surgery because they were in North Carolina visiting my brother. The trip had been planned long before I knew I needed surgery. I had some girlfriends visit, and other family members. I think it's important to let others see me like that. Because if I don't let them in on that, how can they even know me as a person? This whole experience is apart of who I am now. When it comes to my close loved ones, I can't just tell them how things went. It's important that they were there to see it. Does that make sense? There's a part of me that doesn't want anyone to see me because I'm vulnerable and weak and my hair hasn't been washed in days. But I have to share this experience with those close to me. That's why it hurt when a few friends had specifically planned to come visit me, but they were no-shows. I don't know, people are weird about hospitals. Whatever.
So I got home on Monday. I just laid on the couch the whole time. Sleeping was tough. I had to sleep on my back, and that's my least favorite sleeping position. I woke up a lot. The left side of my face was very swollen. A doctor explained to me that that's because so many lymph nodes were removed. He said something along the lines of that there was misplaced lymphatic fluid there. I looked like Rumer Willis. Bleh.
Now I must say objectively that it wasn't that big of a lump. This picture isn't flattering. I think this was a bad angle that exaggerates it a little. I guess I want to share this one because I look so dead in the eyes. I don't know if it's a byproduct of having surgery, or of being on medication. I just didn't look like myself here at all. It's hard to look at.
This is me in the car on the way home from the hospital. Note the Hello Kitty balloon.
Oh, did I forget to mention that the nurses had to clean the wound in the hospital twice per day? The first time someone told me it would need to be cleaned, I was honestly stunned. Like, why? Haven't you done enough? (Okay, that's funny. I can laugh at myself). The nurse would first rub the wound with a solution of sodium chloride and hydrogen peroxide. Then she would rub antibiotic ointment all over the wound. It was somewhat painful, but I was also very numb. After I got home, I had to continue this for a little while.
So I just rested a lot. I did a much better job of resting my body this time compared to the first surgery. Five days after surgery, I actually threw up and then when I ate later, I threw up a second time. We got all freaked out and I was on the phone with an advice nurse for nearly an hour. I just had to let my body recover and I had to stop taking the pain medication. That was really tough, but they were damaging my body and the cons ultimately outweighed the pros. I took tylenol here and there, but it literally did nothing. I couldn't take ibuprofen yet because I was still cut up internally, and that would thin out my blood.
The first few days home were challenging because if my medication started to wear off, everything just hurt. It hurt to just lay on the couch. That was tough. I also noticed that my left shoulder and arm hurt a lot and couldn't move around like my right arm and shoulder could.. I had my post-op appointment coming up soon, so I was hoping to get some answers.
So this is 16 weeks post-op, right before the second surgery.
This time we had to be at the hospital at 5AM. My boyfriend grumbled about it, but I was glad to get it over with. So we went in, I pee in a cup, put on the gown and wait. Dr. Doctor came to talk to me about the surgery, which is standard operating procedure. He casually mentioned he may have to re-incise the original scar on my neck in order to accomplish what he needed to in there. I'm thinking, "What?!" But whatever. I finally fell asleep.
And then I woke up! I was in a lot of pain and like my first surgery, all I remember was asking for pain medication. And I honestly don't even remember that. Hard to explain. Eventually my mom and Johnny came to see me. I was so numb, it was ridiculous. They had taken my gauge out of my ear during surgery because it was in the way. So the incision really was all up in there.
Unfortunately, there was a lot of drama and tears and just bummer 3000 after that. A nurse told me I wouldn't be getting a private room because there weren't any available. She said I'd have to be put on the ward until something opened up. Johnny was sitting with me at the time, in recovery. She told him he'd better learn the visiting hours of the ward. Ooooooh he didn't like that. I was flabbergasted that I wasn't getting a room. Last time I was on the oncology ward, and now I can't get a room anywhere? My mom was very upset of course and she made attempts to speak to the right people to correct this. I don't really know, I was pretty out of it. There was a lot of back and forth, and then eventually a lot of people came to apologize to me. We all got the impression that the nurse who told me that was wrong and maybe didn't go about it how she should. I just cried a lot and was under a lot of stress. I had just come out of this big surgery and I should have been resting and sleeping in my room, but instead there was chaos. It was such a bummer. I had to wait over three hours before a room was available. During that time, a nurse who had recently had thyroid cancer came to talk to me. She was really nice and all, but like really whose idea was that? Who thought, "That terribly sad cancer patient who can't get a room looks pretty stressed out. Let's have someone force a 20 minute conversation with her." During that time, I had to have IV pain medication hourly.
I finally got to my room, and of course I had to pee right away. I'd had a lot of ice chips while in recovery. Me having to get up and get to a toilet shortly after surgery is a good measure for me to be able to tell where I'm at. I stand on my own two feet and see where the pain is, and where I'm limited in movement. My Grandma was in the room when we got there, and she was amazed that I got myself up and could stand so soon after surgery.
After that mess of a situation, things were pretty calm. I was stunned when I learned the pain medication I was received intravenously was Delaudid. Literally when I heard the word, I thought of Michael Jackson and his death as a result of using drugs like Delaudid and Demerol. I could feel a lot of soreness all over my left side, but the medication softened it. The left side of my head was numb, as was my ear and my shoulder. My ear was probably the most severely numb. I just felt nothing. Very bizarre. Oh, and the surgeon did re-incise the old scar. I had one big, J-shaped incision now.
I was in the hospital Friday-Monday. I had a drain in that was removed on Monday. Part of going home meant that I had to transition from IV pain medication to pills, and that was a tough transition. I felt a lot of pain that I just had to sit with for a while. When I was sitting up, I wasn't able to hold my head up straight; it was definitely leaning over to the left. If I tried to straighten it at all, it pulled on the incision. Being in the hospital was boring, but I had some visitors. My dad and stepmom came to visit on Saturday. They weren't there at the time of surgery because they were in North Carolina visiting my brother. The trip had been planned long before I knew I needed surgery. I had some girlfriends visit, and other family members. I think it's important to let others see me like that. Because if I don't let them in on that, how can they even know me as a person? This whole experience is apart of who I am now. When it comes to my close loved ones, I can't just tell them how things went. It's important that they were there to see it. Does that make sense? There's a part of me that doesn't want anyone to see me because I'm vulnerable and weak and my hair hasn't been washed in days. But I have to share this experience with those close to me. That's why it hurt when a few friends had specifically planned to come visit me, but they were no-shows. I don't know, people are weird about hospitals. Whatever.
So I got home on Monday. I just laid on the couch the whole time. Sleeping was tough. I had to sleep on my back, and that's my least favorite sleeping position. I woke up a lot. The left side of my face was very swollen. A doctor explained to me that that's because so many lymph nodes were removed. He said something along the lines of that there was misplaced lymphatic fluid there. I looked like Rumer Willis. Bleh.
This is me in the car on the way home from the hospital. Note the Hello Kitty balloon.
Oh, did I forget to mention that the nurses had to clean the wound in the hospital twice per day? The first time someone told me it would need to be cleaned, I was honestly stunned. Like, why? Haven't you done enough? (Okay, that's funny. I can laugh at myself). The nurse would first rub the wound with a solution of sodium chloride and hydrogen peroxide. Then she would rub antibiotic ointment all over the wound. It was somewhat painful, but I was also very numb. After I got home, I had to continue this for a little while.
So I just rested a lot. I did a much better job of resting my body this time compared to the first surgery. Five days after surgery, I actually threw up and then when I ate later, I threw up a second time. We got all freaked out and I was on the phone with an advice nurse for nearly an hour. I just had to let my body recover and I had to stop taking the pain medication. That was really tough, but they were damaging my body and the cons ultimately outweighed the pros. I took tylenol here and there, but it literally did nothing. I couldn't take ibuprofen yet because I was still cut up internally, and that would thin out my blood.
The first few days home were challenging because if my medication started to wear off, everything just hurt. It hurt to just lay on the couch. That was tough. I also noticed that my left shoulder and arm hurt a lot and couldn't move around like my right arm and shoulder could.. I had my post-op appointment coming up soon, so I was hoping to get some answers.
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