You Travel A Lot

I was recently told, "You travel a lot." At first I mentally rejected that idea because I've never been to Europe, and my bank account is nothing to speak of. But it is true. I do travel a lot. I'm always going all over California as much as I can. I went to Peru nine months ago. I love being in the car, so road trips to Tahoe, the bay area, or Mount Shasta are no sweat, and are something I seek out as frequently as I can. My idea of a fun day off is to drive to Berkeley, an hour away, and get lunch at my favorite vegan delicatessen. I even drive to Winters first, which is the longer, scenic route. I go places as often as I can because I don't know any other way. I'm a pretty busy person too; I work a lot, I'm in school, I cook, yoga, etc. But I'm always carving out the next trip. My mom is this way. She was always planning weekends away and vacations of varying sizes when I was growing up. She is not one to sit still, and I am the same. I want to see as much of the world as I can before the lights go out. I don't think it's weird to try to always be going places. The friend who said it to me is a student, who just has less ambition when it comes to travel and experience. I am hungry for experience, even now still. Seeing Peru made me want more. I want to go back to that country so badly. The community I surround myself with holds to the notion that our past is our greatest asset. I do all the traveling that I can while I can, while I'm well. While my body is physically healthy and strong. Since having cancer, I appreciate these things so much. Having color in my skin, fat on my bones, light in my eyes...these are all things I still notice and appreciate. Even though my cancer experience didn't involve chemotherapy, it was "only" thyroid cancer, yada yada, I still had my vitality taken from me for a period of time. I will never forget laying on my couch feeling so sick, in isolation, feeling like I was dead. I never want to go back there again. But it could happen. Today I watched the movie Miss You Already with Drew Barrymore and Toni Collette. I thought it would be a lame cheesy movie about best friends, but wow was I wrong! It focuses on one of the main character's struggle with metastatic breast cancer. It is graphic and does not hold back. It brought up a lot for me. Watching the character wither away, pale, drained of her vitality....it was so hard to watch.  I also just finished the short series One Mississippi on Amazon, about Tig Notaro's experience with breast cancer and other tumultuous life events happening in a short span of time. I relate to her morose nature, the lowness she's portrayed as experiencing. I get it. I was there. Yes, we'll all die one day. But hopefully I still have lots of time left here on Earth. I need more drives to Berkeley by way of Winters, more walking in the rain and mud from Macchu Picchu to my hostel, more homemade cake, more laughter with my dear boyfriend of nearly eight years. I have a lot of living left, and I have a lot of plans ahead. In three months, my best friend and I are driving to Sedona, Arizona. I am beyond excited. We will also be visiting the Grand Canyon, which I have never been to. This is a major bucket list item. Living in California, getting to the Grand Canyon isn't that difficult! But it hasn't happened for me yet. As the baby of my family, of course my whole family went before I was born. I cannot wait to take in the views and do some hiking. My best friend also has a big heart for travel. Surprisingly, we haven't been many places together; our trips seem not to coincide.

As a 24 year old who is acutely aware of her own mortality (too much so) yes, I travel a lot. And I have no intention of stopping.