Is this good news?

So two days ago my test results came back finally. Remember weeks ago when I wrote that I was getting blood work done soon and would know if I have to have radioactive again? Hah...yeah...I thought I was going to know about the thyroglobulin the next day, but it turns out that had to be sent to the University of Southern California. I got the results 18 days later. I should know better than to expect things to happen in any kind of time frame that I would imagine them happening.

So the thyrogloublin is at 3.0. So it wasn't at 0, which would have meant no cancer, but it didn't increase either. So I can sleep easy knowing there's nothing else growing inside me. My endocrinologist said she and my radiologist needed to confer with their colleagues and get back to me about whether I'd need radioactive iodine or not. So there was more waiting.

She was to call me today at 11:30AM. Of course the call didn't come in until 12:15PM. She said I don't need to have radioactive iodine at this time. She said they'll take my blood again in five weeks and check back on that. They expect the thyroglobulin number to continue going down. She asked me specific questions and asked for dates about my school schedule, which gave me an uneasy feeling. I guess she's leaving open the possibility of me having the treatment later in the year.

I am definitely relieved to know that I'm not having radioactive iodine right now. I'm grateful I won't be going off my medication and gaining weight and observing a wacky, restrictive diet. I'm grateful I can start the spring semester and know that I'll be able to finish it. And I'm grateful I can fully commit to things, like a baby shower that's coming up. I wasn't able to say, "Yes, I'll definitely be there," until today. So that's one less thing on my mind. To be honest, I wouldn't mind not having to work, though. It's not that I have a bad job, it's that I dream of traveling and doing things instead of being a zombie in the working world. Being a zombie pays the bills, though.

After getting that news today, I actually went online and added another class to take this spring. I forget that there was a time when I was really motivated to be a college student and get a degree. The state university I want to go to is highly impacted, so I'm discouraged all around for the future of my education. Whatever. One semester at a time.

I don't feel happy with today's news, though. I'm feeling short term relief, I think. My doctor said I'm not cancer-free, and she said I probably will radioactive iodine again in my lifetime. I think that's part of why they're not going to have me do it right now; I've mentioned previously that there's a higher risk of having leukemia the more nuclear medicine I have. So I guess the logic is not to have it right now if we can help it, because who knows if I'm going to need to have it a few times in 20 years? So that's why I wouldn't say this is really good news. I feel like I will always be looking over my shoulder, always worrying if the cancer will recur.

I always love to watch documentaries on Netflix, and there are a lot about food. Some are about the food industry, some are about obesity and some are pushing a certain way of eating, like juicing or eating vegan. My boyfriend recently watched Forks Over Knives and it had such an impact on him that he has cut all animal products out of his diet. I was surprised because he loves to fish and he also loves bacon cheeseburgers. I watched the documentary last week and it's very persuasive. Halfway through, I really started to think, "This is a cancer documentary wrapped up to look like a food documentary." Because it discusses cancer a lot. Many studies were done and basically the data contends that a plant-based diet is linked to better health all around. I don't know, watch the documentary. Anyway, it really caused me to look inward. I love food and I love the worst kinds of food. From a very young age, I have loved sugary foods and I make it a habit to indulge almost whatever I want now that I'm an adult. I'm not at an unhealthy weight, so it's easy to eat a lot of sugary food. Seriously. When I was first diagnosed, a family friend emailed me and started telling me about how changing my diet can really help. She said her mom had breast cancer and eating different really helped...and I literally thought to myself, "No, no, I have thyroid cancer. The good kind!" God, I was so wrong. Then I remember reading a few different times that sugar feeds cancer. I'm just not going to comment on that. So it got me thinking about cancer and on the one hand, it's like I've already had it. I have cancer right now. Why watch what I eat? Could lightning strike twice? And on the other hand, yeah it could. Just because I've had cancer at 19 and 20 years old, I don't get a pass for the rest of my life. Or, like I always say, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Which by the way, is an excellent way to justify poor eating! Alright, looks like we've come full circle.

So like I said, there's been a lot of looking inward. Bottom line: it wouldn't hurt to eat more vegetables.

Here are some pictures from a trip Johnny and I took to Morro Bay for our fourth anniversary:

He's a great guy and the last four years with him have been so special, even though life has tossed us around a little. I can't say enough about him--even though I barely mention him on here. He's my better half and he puts up with a lot. We had a great Christmas and New Year. I look forward to another year of adventure with him.

Can we talk about how busted my left arm is? Yeah, I'm not bending it intentionally. That's my arm. Cool.

Vegan lunch in San Luis Obispo.

I may or may not have gotten a tattoo recently.

In my element, on the road. I love nothing more.

So I guess that's all I have for now. I really look forward to the day I can say, "I'm cancer-free." I can't imagine what that would be like. But even when I can say that, who's to say it will last?