Where things stand now

I have had four appointments in the last week. I am so done trying to get there early and find parking and all that. The first two days, I had thyroid injections. Having those is an alternative to going off my medication; it's another way to have my TSH go higher. There was a long list of possible side effects, and I did end up with headaches and an upset stomach off and on for three days. The third day I had a 2mci dosage of radioactive iodine (no side effects come with this) and then yesterday I had the whole body scan. My doctor emailed me last night to tell me that no cancer showed up on the scan, so that was good to hear. This does not mean I don't have cancer in me, but it means there was no surprises. They still know of some small lesions in my neck that are too small to surgically remove. My doctor is still waiting for my thyroglobulin test results to come back before she formally tells me what the decision is. I asked what would probably happen and she said they'll likely be "watchfully waiting." I am very frustrated that there is no next step, but I understand the circumstances. I just wish we could get this over with and move on.

To back up a little bit, I attended a Relay For Life event in my hometown this weekend. It was in between these appointments, interestingly enough. I really enjoyed being apart of it. I didn't know the survivors would be introduced onstage though, and I might not have shown up if I knew that : )

 My Uncle Sal walked with me, which was very cool. He is a survivor of prostate cancer.

It was a cool experience to take part in. This is not a group I want to belong to--I think everyone there felt that way--but I did feel surrounded by people who cared for me and supported me. That part was nice. I didn't plan on attending this event; it was rather last minute. Because of that, my boyfriend didn't join us because he was out of town, and other friends and family who might have come to support me had prior commitments. Understandable. I'd like to plan ahead of time next year and maybe put together a team.

One thing that's keeping my spirits high lately is cooking. With vegan cooking, there's always something to experiment with. This week I ventured into one of my favorite foods, French toast.

 

The batter is coconut milk, mashed banana, raspberry, one flax egg (one tablespoon ground flax meal and three tablespoons water, mixed together and left to sit for five minutes) vanilla extract and cinnamon. Topped with blueberries, toasted coconut chips and maple syrup.

 

And finally, I've been delving deeper into my yoga practice lately and I've arrived at the decision to pursue yoga teacher training. I love all aspects of yoga, particularly the principles of acceptance and staying in the now. Yoga has been a powerful tool for me in getting through cancer, and I am so grateful for it. It has been so healing for my mind, body and spirit. I started a Go Fund Me page in the hopes of getting help with tuition. I'm not necessarily fond of asking the general public for money, but anything will help. I have donated here and there to causes in the past because I believe every cent helps. This career path certainly won't make me millions of dollars and I foresee full time teaching to be unlikely for awhile, but this is something I really love and I want to share it with people. Here is the link to the funding page:

Gofundme.com/caitcullen

I stumbled upon different "yoga for cancer" organizations and that's something that caught my eye. I would love to get involved with that.

So as of right now, I don't know what the immediate future holds. It sounds like no treatment is happening soon, so I imagine I'll return to work in the next few months. For now, I'm getting enough sleep, making good food and practicing as much yoga as I can. The stresses of a day job will return, but not just yet.