Cancer recurrence

I had labs done and I had an ultrasound this month to check on how things are moving along one year after radioactive iodine. The ultrasound revealed three small lesions measuring roughly 5mm each. My endocrinologist described them as being too small to biopsy, but she can tell it's thyroid tissue. One mass is in the thyroid "bed" where the thyroid once was and two are up by the angle of my jaw. Those are lymph nodes and I'm told my surgeon probably couldn't see them during the second surgery because they were so small. So they were left behind and they have grown a little. My thyroglobulin came in at 2.3. It had been 2.1 in February. Dr. Chan said that's good news. I guess it's good that it didn't skyrocket. 

I'm currently waiting to hear what they want to do. The nuclear medicine doctor says the lesions are too big to be completely eradicated by radioactive iodine alone. My surgeon says the cancer is too small to be seen in surgery. So what is going to happen here? I have no clue. 

I'm already off work. I haven't felt well lately because I've had some symptoms due to being hyperthyroid these last few months. Either heat intolerance or getting a little shaky seem to come up daily. My doctor adjusted my dosage, but the changes don't come right away. My TSH had been 0.02, but went back down to 0.01 this month. I asked my doctor why it went down (which inversely is more hyperthyroid) when the dosage has been the same, and she said it can do that even if I'm taking my medication as I should. 

So here I am in the unknown again. All the info above wasn't presented to me right at first; there have been many conversations in the last week about what's going on. At first, I was under the impression I'd definitely have either surgery, radioactive iodine or both. Now I'm not so sure, since the lesions are too big for one treatment and too small for the other. My cousin called it the goldilocks of tumors and she is right. I am in no way offended by that statement : ) I have kept my sense of humor through all of this and I've been telling Johnny that the next treatment really should be total decapitation. Let's just lose the head and call it a day. 

Dr. Chan said in an email today that I shouldn't put off plans for college in the fall because she doesn't want this to get in the way of my future, and I'm thinking.....what are you talking about? What are you going to do then? I wonder if they are just going to monitor things....I just don't see how this will be resolved, and I guess I have to wait and see. My doctor said she's in contact with other doctors about how to move forward. 

I feel like I'm just holding my breath right now. I've been here before. Just waiting for what's next. I'll do whatever they want me to do, I'd just like to get it going. It disgusts me to know that again, there's cancer in my body. I really thought it was gone and this was over. I've written a lot on here about putting this behind me. I guess the good news is that I don't have to sweat that one just yet.