How It All Began Pt. II
It's hard writing this stuff. It's therapeutic, and that doesn't always feel warm and fuzzy.
I had an ultrasound scheduled for the first week in February 2012. When I made the appointment, I couldn't get one any sooner than four weeks out, which I thought was a while. Let me go back, though.
My Grandad, my Dad's dad, wasn't in good health stemming from some stomach ulcers and surgery he'd had in November and December. It was sad. My Dad and I visited him on Christmas Day 2011 and it was so emotional for me. He died on January 5. The funeral was on January 14, and it was good timing because my brother Ryan would be visiting from North Carolina. I had oral surgery (four wisdom teeth were removed) the day before the funeral. That had been previously scheduled and I was about to start another semester of college, so I decided to keep the oral surgery date and attend the funeral in Fremont. Fortunately, Johnny drove the two-hour drive to the funeral and back later that night. My mouth was bleeding and I was kind of a mess, but I wouldn't have been anywhere in the world. He was buried next to my Grandma, his wife.
So I had an ultrasound scheduled in February. I had been unhappy with my living situation at a studio apartment in Auburn, so one day I finally got fed up and started actively looking for a new place to live. I found a great two-bedroom apartment close by and I decided to move. That was stressful, but I had help from friends and it was kind of fun. I had to cancel that ultrasound appointment because I ended up moving the week of the appointment. I really didn't know that I was possibly delaying the diagnosis and treatment of something serious here. I was moving and I didn't have time. I re-scheduled for another date that was four weeks away.
My Auntie Bev died in February. She had stage IV pancreatic cancer. That's not exactly something people can overcome. It was a very sad time. It was tough to see my Mom lose a sister.
Right before the funeral, I learned that one of my friends had died. His name was Bobby Henning. It was devastating. It wasn't devastating because he was my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him--I won't lie. He was 22 and he left behind a daughter. I was so sad at that time. I don't know how to articulate it any better than that. He didn't go in the best way either. He was killed by the police in L.A. I won't speculate on anything. So I attended my aunt's funeral with that in mind, and then his was the next week. There were beautiful, beautiful eulogies at both of those services.
It was very strange to be attending so many funerals and possibly having some health issues. Those were dark times. One of my teachers asked me if everything was okay. With all that death and sadness, I didn't try to fake it when I came to school.
I should mention that I never experienced any symptoms from my health. I was never in any pain or discomfort. Not yet.
February was a tough month. Onto March. I went to the ultrasound alone. I didn't think I needed any moral support. I waited 20 minutes past the appointment time to be seen. The receptionist told me that the ultrasound technician was running late because of an emergency or something. She attended to an emergency or something. She finally came to the waiting room for me. She wasn't the friendliest person I ever met.
I didn't picture this as my first ultrasound experience. I guess because I've seen so many TV shows that document pregnancy and birth stories, I had envisioned having an ultrasound because of pregnancy. Not the case. She put the jelly on my neck and she felt around for probably a total of 15 minutes. It was agonizing because she couldn't tell me anything about what she was finding. She's a technician, not a doctor. I saw her zoom in and I saw what looked like many circles. Some were bigger than others. She clicked around with the machine and I watched her take measurements of some of the bigger circles. I was disappointed. She's obviously measuring something. I tried to ask her what she was measuring, but she said she couldn't tell me.
I felt bad for me and I felt bad for her. She probably had patients asking her all the time what was wrong with them. I was somewhat scared of what the future may hold, but it was vague. I didn't really know what I was afraid of yet. I didn't dare research it online. I just tried to continue working full time and going to college.
I had an ultrasound scheduled for the first week in February 2012. When I made the appointment, I couldn't get one any sooner than four weeks out, which I thought was a while. Let me go back, though.
My Grandad, my Dad's dad, wasn't in good health stemming from some stomach ulcers and surgery he'd had in November and December. It was sad. My Dad and I visited him on Christmas Day 2011 and it was so emotional for me. He died on January 5. The funeral was on January 14, and it was good timing because my brother Ryan would be visiting from North Carolina. I had oral surgery (four wisdom teeth were removed) the day before the funeral. That had been previously scheduled and I was about to start another semester of college, so I decided to keep the oral surgery date and attend the funeral in Fremont. Fortunately, Johnny drove the two-hour drive to the funeral and back later that night. My mouth was bleeding and I was kind of a mess, but I wouldn't have been anywhere in the world. He was buried next to my Grandma, his wife.
So I had an ultrasound scheduled in February. I had been unhappy with my living situation at a studio apartment in Auburn, so one day I finally got fed up and started actively looking for a new place to live. I found a great two-bedroom apartment close by and I decided to move. That was stressful, but I had help from friends and it was kind of fun. I had to cancel that ultrasound appointment because I ended up moving the week of the appointment. I really didn't know that I was possibly delaying the diagnosis and treatment of something serious here. I was moving and I didn't have time. I re-scheduled for another date that was four weeks away.
My Auntie Bev died in February. She had stage IV pancreatic cancer. That's not exactly something people can overcome. It was a very sad time. It was tough to see my Mom lose a sister.
Right before the funeral, I learned that one of my friends had died. His name was Bobby Henning. It was devastating. It wasn't devastating because he was my best friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him--I won't lie. He was 22 and he left behind a daughter. I was so sad at that time. I don't know how to articulate it any better than that. He didn't go in the best way either. He was killed by the police in L.A. I won't speculate on anything. So I attended my aunt's funeral with that in mind, and then his was the next week. There were beautiful, beautiful eulogies at both of those services.
It was very strange to be attending so many funerals and possibly having some health issues. Those were dark times. One of my teachers asked me if everything was okay. With all that death and sadness, I didn't try to fake it when I came to school.
I should mention that I never experienced any symptoms from my health. I was never in any pain or discomfort. Not yet.
February was a tough month. Onto March. I went to the ultrasound alone. I didn't think I needed any moral support. I waited 20 minutes past the appointment time to be seen. The receptionist told me that the ultrasound technician was running late because of an emergency or something. She attended to an emergency or something. She finally came to the waiting room for me. She wasn't the friendliest person I ever met.
I didn't picture this as my first ultrasound experience. I guess because I've seen so many TV shows that document pregnancy and birth stories, I had envisioned having an ultrasound because of pregnancy. Not the case. She put the jelly on my neck and she felt around for probably a total of 15 minutes. It was agonizing because she couldn't tell me anything about what she was finding. She's a technician, not a doctor. I saw her zoom in and I saw what looked like many circles. Some were bigger than others. She clicked around with the machine and I watched her take measurements of some of the bigger circles. I was disappointed. She's obviously measuring something. I tried to ask her what she was measuring, but she said she couldn't tell me.
I felt bad for me and I felt bad for her. She probably had patients asking her all the time what was wrong with them. I was somewhat scared of what the future may hold, but it was vague. I didn't really know what I was afraid of yet. I didn't dare research it online. I just tried to continue working full time and going to college.
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